STARTLING BUT TRUE

Has it ever occurred to you that in our social system the politician is able to reach a position of responsibility without having any training? He serves no apprenticeship, he masters no course of study. He need pass no examination as to ability. He receives neither diploma nor a license to practice. The veterinarian who doctors our pets is required to show more careful preparation for his calling than is the politician who seeks to assume the right to direct not only our industrial but much of our personal life. J.O. Wintzel

Piece of Wintzel's Wall

A joint checking account is never overdrawn by the wife -- its under-deposited by the husband.

If you want to teach your child the value of a dollar, you had better hurry.

Our ancestors had to haul the wash water from the well, but they didn't have to sit up nights trying to figure how to make payments on the buckets.

Clothes don't make the man, but a good suit makes many a lawyer..

After a meal in a first-class restaurant these days, you need an after-dinner mint -- such as the one in Philadelphia.

Free Oyster to anyone 80 years old accompanied by their parents

BE KIND TO OYSTERS WEEK

AFTER MORE THAN 10 YEARS OF RESEARCH, IT HAS BEEN DISCOVERED THAT THE BEST WAY TO OPEN OYSTERS
IS TO GET THEM DRUNK.
Like us, Oysters can get tipsy: then their muscles relax and they open their shells. There will soon be on the market a tablet that, when dropped in water on your unsuspecting oyster, will carbonate the water & have the oysters feeling pleasantly relaxed & open in 5 min. It's mere carbonated water that makes an oysters head go round. Did you know that its a HANGOVER - OF - A DIFFERENT - SORT - That Oysters should be eaten during the months with an "R"? Years ago, oysters that were shipped during the warmer months spoiled so, the "R" method provided a way of knowing when to eat them and when to leave them alone. But in these days of refrigerated transportation facilities you can eat oysters any time of the year with complete safety.